The Name Game

We have reached week six of classes and I feel less like a stranger here. I have established a level of comfortability with my students and, in return, I believe they have become less skeptical of me. I think back to when I first arrived... I was very dedicated to learning every student's name. I felt this was the first step I needed to take in order to begin to discover who they were. This proved very difficult as I took attendance my first week and realized there are three Joel's in one class, a John, Johny and Johnathan in the next, and Diana and Dayana and Jenny and Jennifer in another, along with many other indigenous names I couldn't even begin to pronounce.

Now, as I call roll and look up to meet the faces of these beautiful children, I no longer identify them by the sound I make with my lips, but, rather, I feel their presence. Their names conjure up certain thoughts, feelings, and emotions within me and their energy gives me life.

Here are just a few examples of what I mean:

Kazandra... sassy yet caring
         Nancy... kind and quiet
                  Odalys... opinionated but loving
                             Erika... tom-boy yet creative
                                    Miguel Christian... flirtatious but genuine
                                                   Alexander.... mischievous but joyful
                                                               Edison... meticulous and sincere
                                                                         Bryan... difficult yet compassionate

Just as I am now able to call them each by name, my students call my name and it means something to them. I am no longer identified by my blue eyes and white skin, but, rather, by the personal relationships I share with each student here at CMT. Señorita Estefy, I am sure, evokes a wide array of emotions, both good and bad, among students, but it also evokes a wide array of emotions with me.

Prior to CMT, I was a student,
                                a collegiate athlete,
                                           the littlest sister,
                                                   a grieving daughter...

But now I have become a foreigner,
                                a teacher and counselor,
                                           a big sister and mother...

This shift in roles happened quite naturally, but as I reflect every evening, sometimes I feel so out of character. The Stephanie of the U.S. seems to be a very different person when compared to the Estefy of Ecuador. What a blesssing it is to discover my Truest Self among the people of El Centro de Muchacho Trabajador.

Bienvenida

To blog…
or not to bog.

That was the question.

Prior to my departure, I toyed with the idea of beginning a blog to document my year volunteering with The Working Boys Center in Quito, Ecuador. I knew it would be an excellent way to keep family and friends involved throughout my journey, but, to be honest, I was never quite sold on the idea. When asked if I was thinking about beginning a blog I always turned to a noncommittal response, “You know, I’m not entirely sure... I may.” Transitioning from a college student to an unpaid volunteer seemed daunting enough, so the idea of “publishing” anything during a time of such great change seemed silly to me. 

How could I find time to organize my thoughts? Everything is so new, where do I possibly begin? What would I even write about? Who would my audience be? These questions and many others made me at one time feel that I might need to keep to myself and live this experience “quietly.” I most certainly didn’t need a public audience during a time of confusion, exhaustion, and, as mentioned, change. So, per usual, I packed my journal and believed that would be enough.

The past weekend marked four weeks here in Quito and (surprise!) I have decided “to blog.”

Why? What changed?

After a conversation with my mother, I realized a blog would, of course, allow others to accompany me throughout this year, but it would also help me more deeply examine my own experience here. It would provide a space to dialogue about the exhaustion, confusion, and change I am somewhat fearful of. I have begun to understand the magnitude of the opportunity that lies in front of me each day, and so I wish to share in my experiences and reflections publically as well as invite others to join me.

I have several friends who have chosen to embark on yearlong service in the states and abroad, as well as others who will accompany me in teaching English as a second language. My desire is to have them join me in this space and offer their own personal insights and experiences.

I pray that together we can sow hope as the ever inspirational Pope Francis explains:

“Poverty calls us to sow hope…. Poverty is the flesh of the poor Jesus, in that child who is hungry, in the one who is sick, in those unjust social structures.”

(Meeting with Students of Jesuit Schools—Q&A, 6/7/13)